By the side of the river
by Ainsel3
Summary: Itachi wiped out his clan but agreed to attribute the massacre by unknown persons for stay in Konoha with Sasuke. He has always stifled the guilt for the sake of his brother, but if in the end this love proves to be the most dangerous feeling? - English version


Itachi knew very well the feeling of guilt.

He was familiar with its bitter taste, with its sleepless nights, with its intimate sense of discomfort that sometimes made it impossible to see his brother in the eye and with his constant anxiety that, however, led him to embrace Sasuke as if it were always the last chance to do so.

Lived with that feeling since, seven years before, he had agreed to exterminate his clan.

Seven years and nearly three months before, a night in which he was wearing a mask and had stained the shedding of his own blood, of which, however, no one has ever blamed him; instead generally attributed by unknown.

Officially out of Konoha for a secret mission, so he said his file on that day, and this was the version in which the whole village believed. What Sasuke thought.

Sometimes he thought that remorse suffocating depended not so much from his crime, but rather by the fact that he was never tried for it, but then he remembered why he had done, and how, thanks to the lie he had obtained permission to stay Konoha with his brother, and inevitably swallowed pain and torment to go forward on that road.

- Nii-san, is not a wound so severe!

Itachi winced to hear the Sasuke's impatient voice, returning to focus on him.

Lost in his thought he had almost forgotten that trigger them was the new remorse of this particular day, based on the fact that, in order to train his brother, had done to hurt him.

- It 's just a cut - he insisted, catching his expression still grim.

Itachi slowly shifted his gaze on the hole that had opened up on the right leg of Sasuke, starting from the knee up to the calf, and swallowed hard when he noticed the smell of blood was spreading more and more intense around them.

He did not dare to touch his wound, because just looking at this made him tremble.

I'm sorry, he wanted to whisper.

- I told you to stop - instead he said flatly.

Sasuke stiffened for this reproach, looking at his brother with a look resentful.

He was fully aware that the coldness of Itachi was just a result of his guilt - he had learned long ago after he realized that his brother was enough to see him take a sprained ankle to become restless - but he did not feel so mature to accept it.

Prevailed betrayed desire to have the care of Itachi, so he ignored the hand he held out to help him and stood alone. Although struggled to maintain balance forced himself to walk, heading towards the river without saying anything.

- Sasuke, now the current is too strong to wash there - intervened immediately Itachi going after him. - We'll clean home, come on.

- I'll clean - corrected Sasuke clenched teeth. - You're the genius who after an afternoon of training has not even breaking a sweat, I'm the incompetent who instead is reduced to be dirty and bloody.

He did not bother the certainty of being unfair to say that, knowing that there was never any kind of malice behind Itachi's thin trend to underestimate his abilities, and gave him firmly on the shoulder.

He ignored his brother was right in saying that with that wound was not advisable to dive into the river to clean, but even if so ill-disposed towards him he could not really get irritated when his brother grabbed him firmly by the arm.

- I've already explained that it is dangerous, now the current is very strong - Itachi said dryly.

Sasuke lifted his face to look at Itachi's eyes, but struggled to read something because the impenetrable barriers of her brother. Hated to see him so controlled, so apparently indifferent, and felt the urge to shake him in some way.

- If I agree to go straight home you spend the night with me? - He asked.

He did not know why he had expressed in the way that was not at all usual for himself, and was able to understand the bewildered expression of Itachi. But then it became dark, and Sasuke knew he had just given away to one of their discussions that, in an eternal vicious cycle, is repeated always the same for a year now.

He was 15 years old when he realized for the first time that he could never love anyone as he did with his brother when he thought that leaving his hand which he had clung to the day of the funeral of their parents would be like dying .

He adored his brother before the massacre, and after that he was all that had to move on.

Itachi was the beginning of his world and its totality; Sasuke had understood so spontaneously that he had not felt fear despite the abnormality of the situation.

Now he had 16 years, and his attempts - from hesitant to progressively more impatient and decided - to communicate these feelings to Itachi, still remain unanswered.

- You are my beloved brother - he said, as he had done many times before.

- ... Sasuke, stop it.

- You've always been everything to me, and there is not even a reason why I should not love you. Rather it would be abnormal for me not to!

Itachi pressed a hand to his temple as to stop a headache incipient, and Sasuke did not care because they were following their usual pattern.

He's expressing his thoughts and his brother withdrew, so clearly more aghast that upset to drive him to press him more and more, unable to stop. So that in the end Itachi ordered him to stop in a conclusive tone, and he looked at him angrily before walking away.

If the first time they had stopped there, Sasuke was not sure it would have also found the strength to continue to insist, but instead of leaving him alone Itachi was going on behind him. He had embraced him, and feel his body tense in a silent and painful conflict had sent Sasuke more than a thousand words the true feelings of his brother.

- I know that you love me - he said, never tired of repeating this.

- I told you to stop with this story, you do not know what you say.

- See? You can not even deny convincingly - Sasuke scoffed bitterly.

This time Itachi did not answer, merely looking at him inscrutable. Exasperated by his attitude he did not attempt to talk to him, renewing its decision to reach the river. Not because he really wanted, although he considered annoying to be seen in the village reduced to that state, but simply because Itachi had told him not to.

He avoided thinking about what was too childish act like a 16 years old, engaging all his concentration on the walk one step after the other without falling. When he reached the river froze to find this in the throes of a power even more impetuous than expected, and could not help glancing furtively behind him.

Sasuke said to himself that if Itachi still had proposed to him to go home together he would agree. Remained so hurt when, however, he realized that his brother had not followed him. Immediately after comes the anger, and - chasing sadness for what he considered undoubtedly as a betrayal - forging ahead towards the river bank.

With the benefit of hindsight he admitted that it was really stupid to give in to resentment to the point of putting this before a basic instinct of safety, but at that moment he could only think that Itachi would have deserved to see him back completely wet.

Despite the wound and the force of the water was able to dive almost completely without problems, and had just thought he had won - as with a deep bitterness basic – when a sudden cramp in his leg made him short of breath. He let out a moan of pain, but this was soon suffocated by the water that filled his mouth when the river seemed to take advantage of the moment to drown it.

He got back to the surface, coughing in search of air, but was unable to convince his leg to move to oppose even the current. When he was carried away he was hit by a moment of sheer panic, and tried to call the name of Itachi before the water came back to choke him.

- Sasuke!

He thought that he imagined his voice, already too numb to reason properly, but when his brother grabbed him he could never confuse the arms of Itachi with nobody else in the world. Were the only ones able to squeeze him with that reluctance mixed with a love and a desire to possess so intense, in an irreconcilable contradiction that made only his hugs.

So how could never fail to recognize her chest on which he had slept a thousand times as a child and on which, now, he dropped when he was dragged out of the water again on the other side.

He stood there breathing heavily for several minutes, feeling as the only noise around him the heartbeat of Itachi. He refrained from speaking until it was assured that his brother was okay, but when Sasuke slowly began color face could no longer restrain himself.

- I do not understand how you manage to always involving the wrong way - he hissed. - You're a selfish, arrogant and stupid and do not understand that it is always impulsive and immature what you do. You could have really die if I had not been here. How you gonna do when I'm not here?

- ... You'll be there forever.

In spite of himself Itachi was unable to say anything after listening to the murmur of Sasuke, feeling himself emptied all the feelings first.

Of blind fear, anger and apprehension previous was only intense pain that swelled his heart.

Impulsively embraced his brother, and gasped when he felt very aware of Sasuke's body close to his. His wet clothes, the smell of his skin, his breath tickling his neck.

Itachi realized that he needed to remove him - not to go beyond the boundary of which he was dangerously poised maybe always - but ended up instead to lay him down and kiss him. A light kiss, a slight touch of the lips, yet able to mean everything to him.

When that moment came he knew it was too late to deny what he had done, and he felt terrified. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on his, trying to hold on to even the smallest blade of self-control.

- I do not want to dirty you - he said hoarsely. - Please do not let me do it.

Sasuke had hardly dared to breathe while Itachi hugged him and behaved as he had always prayed to do, and now hear his words exasperated him. He was sorry for the sadness of his brother, but unable to understand why Itachi tormented himself for something he considered it only right.

- You do not dirty me, not you - he said.

- We're brothers.

- I know ... it means that we are born to do it.

Itachi did not even know if impatient or enraged with Sasuke for his strict security so childish, that he considered only as stubbornness unconscious. He was sure that his brother was not acting clearly, rather confused by the way in which they had grown morbidly exclusive, yet his eyes were watching him were clear.

His own image reflected in those eyes was so, and Itachi thought he could almost cry with the knowledge that Sasuke considered him perfect.

Itachi kissed him again before accepting his gesture, as if with kisses could restrain the impulse to reveal that, in reality, he was far from perfect. As his hands were stained with blood, and that therefore the idea to stain his skin - so white, so pure - led him to shun even the most innocent contact between them.

Did not tell him any of this, and when Sasuke answered his kisses Itachi felt even ignite a desire made even more intense in despair.

It was wrong, terribly wrong, but it was also a lifeline. He would have given his life for Sasuke, and Sasuke wanted to give himself to him.

- Otouto ... look at me.

Let me see myself in your eyes, let me pretend to be a better person.

Sasuke obeyed, remaining silent when Itachi hill his hand on his face and slowly ran his fingers the line of her neck. He shivered due to the touch, and felt the beating of his heart speed up when he realized that his brother did not would be stopped.

He tried to help him taking off his own clothes, but he seemed suddenly to be too clumsy to do something as simple as take off a shirt. He sighed with relief when Itachi had no difficulty in doing so, and without any notice was crossed by the thought that, in fact, this was nothing new for them.

It was part of their daily life that he could return from a mission to get pretty tired just want to jump on the bed and sleep - and in fact even before, when he was just a kid who was studying at the academy and trained every afternoon - and it was then Itachi to undress and put it under the covers.

He had never even realized how ambiguous it was a similar behavior, and now he found himself envying himself in the past that did not have any problem to be touched.

He did not want Itachi understand the nervousness that had seized him, certain that his brother would immediately saw an excuse to return to reject him, but for him it was impossible not to shake his hand when Itachi went to stroke his hips.

He turned his head, finding now impossible to continue to see his face, and he bit him lip hard enough to make them bleed the moment when Itachi put pressure on the thighs to get him to open his legs.

Even without seeing knew that Itachi was watching him, could figure in mind his expression almost incredulous, eager, emotion, as if he considered him a precious object to be treated with infinite care.

This certainty brought tears to the eyes, cursing himself for being so stupid as to start to get scared just at the moment when his brother stopped to have.

Appealing to all his will forced himself to stay calm, ignoring the tremors and stomach cramps. However, when Itachi put his hands behind his knees to make him remove his feet land and thus exposes its opening, came to take his arm over his face to cover his eyes.

He did not think his brother would surely have caught such an action, and initially startled to feel the pulse catch him. Forced to move the arm again found himself looking into the eyes, stiffening to realize that their were still full of tears.

- It's okay - Sasuke said quickly, trying to speak in a firm voice.

Without answering Itachi turned away from him, and for a brief, horrible moment Sasuke thought he had compromised beyond repair that possibility - the only one, perhaps - to understand Itachi he wanted this. Every single part of his being protested violently to the idea, but before he could groped to justify his brother held him in his arms.

- Sorry, I'm a failure.

The whisper of Itachi should have made him sad, but instead he's breath on his neck made him shudder.

- Nii-san, I ...

- It 's normal that you are tense, so it is normal that it is absurd that I never thought of that before - he said, still in a whisper.

Those words meant everything to Sasuke, even though he had not realized before that moment that he wanted to own that Itachi legitimize his fears. He did not feel the need to explain that it was not repentant or hesitant, because he was sure that he already knew.

He really wanted to cry, and thought he could do it without problems since, so, his appearance was anything but attractive between the leg wound still bleeding, dust and bruises that he had obtained first in the river.

- I'm the disaster - said resentfully.

He caught a slight smile on his face Itachi, and blushed when he bowed his head between him legs. As was inappropriate remembered instantly to certain things he had heard about the blowjob, but did not have time to be embarrassed that startled to feel a slight pressure on his wound.

Itachi was kissing him there where the blood continued to stain your skin, and Sasuke found himself firmly tighten his fingers around a clump of grass when his tongue teased deeper into the wound. He felt no pain, just a feeling terribly intimate. Morbid too, he thought vaguely to ask whether other people arrived to be desired even the smallest drop of blood of a loved one.

Suddenly eager to touch him to Itachi reached out and put his hand on my head, just touching her hair. For the first voltage had not noticed that plunging into the river he had lost the tie that kept them tied, and now slid the wet strands between his fingers.

Itachi lifted his head again, tilting his face on the hand that Sasuke had rested his cheek. He then put on his own, giving him a smile that he, making him short of breath, smiled back.

Even though he knew that by following his true character was too expressive it was still difficult to see Sasuke smiling really, and at that moment he said it was a good as his smile had the effect of only inflamed.

He bent down to kiss him in a frenzy, while his natural greed that was always trying to keep subkey took over. He did not think the fact of kissing him long enough to make him gasp, as it did not become concerned at the way he winced as he bit his neck, leaving a dramatic mark on the skin.

Itachi only felt want him there, immediately.

To allow himself to give in to the fact that Sasuke was and would always be everything to him, and to stifle the nagging sense of guilt that made him feel so inadequate as to make him think more and more that he would do better to entrust his brother to other not to ruin it.

- I will not give you to anybody - said casting. - Am I the only one who can protect you and make you happy.

- Nii-san ...

Sasuke wanted to take advantage of that rare moment of spontaneity of Itachi to reassure him that yes, it was so, only and only he could always keep him close. But the words died on his lips when his brother lifted his legs again, bringing him to rest these on his shoulders.

Sasuke arched his back to the slight pain that crossed him shortly after, and knew without looking that Itachi had tried to force her anus with a finger. The first was followed by another, and after the third Sasuke let out a moan true.

He could not deny that it hurt, more than he had imagined, and he felt intimidated that they are still quite far from the true penetration. But he could never ignore the delicacy with which Itachi was acting, checked again after those frantic moments just before, and he was certain that a person can touch it with that dedication could never hurt him.

- If you want to stop here for me is fine - Itachi said, as if reading his mind.

Sasuke shook his head in denial, and because nervousness which he felt invaded Itachi realized that he would have preferred to see him nod.

The careless and selfish passion earlier had again given way to anxiety to be able to hurt him, rather than his need to have him - despising himself even to get an erection - the only thought that he was too drive. If he had not relaxed even a little it was clear that the penetration would hurt, violently tearing the tissues are still intact, and Itachi froze idea.

He had never been so nervous before one of the occasional sexual relations he had had over the years - either with men and women, considering all just the same because they were not Sasuke - but he said it was normal, because this time he had between his arms the body of the person who knew him tremble just by touching him.

He took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down.

- Sasuke, this is your last chance to change your mind. Do not think that I might be disappointed to interrupt us here, I only care that you're okay.

- I'm sure, really - he said.

Itachi sighed again, this time almost imperceptibly, and tried to take security from the fact that Sasuke actually did not flinch when pressed his erection against his entrance.

- Alright then, I'll go on.

I love you, he wanted to tell him, but he could not pull out the words as though they were true and absolute in itself. He then tried to make him understand at least the act they were about to carry out, focusing only on making this as pleasant as possible for him.

Sasuke shuddered just to hear him come in, but feeling even more uncomfortable for unknown intrusion that the real pain. He instinctively pressed a hand on his neck and pulled him, asking with his eyes a kiss that immediately after, suppressed the strangled cry that escaped him when the Itachi's member filled him to the hilt.

Sasuke grabbed behind him without thinking of appearing childish or even pathetic, having only to think of the excruciating pain that had invaded. He was happy with the thought of finally being united with his brother until that point, he knew of it really, but on the other hand, there was a real and simple physical pain that he could not ignore.

- You'll be fine - Itachi whispered, giving him light kisses on his face. - This pain will pass away, I swear I'll be fine.

They stood - accompanied only by the voice of him that he never ceased to murmur words of comfort - until those pangs intense they became more and more muffled, becoming finally a dull pain but bearable. When he was sure to continue Sasuke dared to move his hips to make it clear that he was ready to Itachi, and he gently kissed his forehead before giving him the first thrust.

Soon Sasuke felt his breathing speed up, in a totally different way than when he was nervous about what would happen. If he remembered the bad precedent it seemed impossible to try now so pleasant sensations, yet felt a sense of fulfillment that he had never experienced.

He was thinking that he could not feel better, that Itachi's hand tightened around his erection and began to stroke it in rhythm with the thrusts, now faster.

Itachi smiled against her skin to clearly hear his groan, then focus on your own pleasure. Inside the body of his brother was so hot, tight and terribly sweet that his member had begun to throb until after a few moments, and was due to hold not come too soon.

Itachi did not think it was wrong and that in so doing he were hopelessly tainting the very purest person he knew, the only one who would kill just to keep innocent. Because it looked all right too, to know that it was not.

Itachi looked at Sasuke's body wet with water and sweat, and when this arched realized that he was now about to come. Continued to stimulate his erection and go inside him, until he heard his voice calling - invoking, say his name in a tone that had never heard him use - and his body tense in his arms. He came, spilling his seed on the Itachi's hand.

He felt overwhelmed with relief to this, saying once again that if Sasuke had taken pleasure meant that he had not hurt him. He was not forced on his brother, forcing Sasuke to get to that point, but he could really do something good for both.

Moved by these thoughts, his body began to become more and more tense, now unable to stop over. With a final lunge deeper froze inside him and Sasuke shivered again to hear the gush of hot sperm make their way into his body, a feeling that could not compare with anything he had experienced before, but already almost family.

Itachi took the time to recover his breath and clarity, then walked slowly and carefully from the body of his brother. Then slid down the side of Sasuke, and without looking pulled him to tighten it securely in her arms. He tilted his face in his hair, enjoying its characteristic odor that would recognize among a thousand others.

- I love you. I love you, Sasuke.

He had not expected to hear him say those words, and even if he refused to cry - annoyed for having done too much for that day - also felt the tears tug at his eyes.

He knew he was loved by Itachi, he was perhaps the only real certainty of his life, but it was rare to get by his sincerity enough to get him to admit his feelings. Sasuke crouched better between his arms, sighing on his chest.

- I love you too - said, his voice muffled. - But you know, since I never miss to tell you.

- But you know, do not you otouto?

Sasuke was unwilling to admit it, realizing that it was a way to allow Itachi to continue to limit his verbal utterances, but in the end could not help but nod.

- I know ... - he whispered. - I've always known, nii-san.


End file.
